please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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