I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
