Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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