All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
