So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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