KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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