I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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