At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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