I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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