I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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