she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
