Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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