Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
