i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
