Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
