beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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