on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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