Is it normal to miss your booty call?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yo dont text me then not text me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
