I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
