Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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