no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
