And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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