I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
