i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
