When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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