you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
