They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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