if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
