We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
do herpes really smell.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
