We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
