Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
