we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
