yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
