Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize