I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
