Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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