Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
