Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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