Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
