Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
