based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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