Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am naked and annoyed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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