my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I am spending my child support on dildos
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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