He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
