Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
