You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
