everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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