i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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