every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up under a house in Key West
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
