I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
