she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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