...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You took a bar mat shot.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize