ugly people sure do ruin things
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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