discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't want my vagina anymore.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
