Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
you never un-have a 4some
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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