if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize