just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
