i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
