if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
