thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
