ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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