I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
