Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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