think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
