Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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