just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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