I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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